Done well, but still not enough. About perfectionism
The message is ready. You read it again. You change one sentence, then return to the earlier version. It was supposed to take ten minutes. An hour passes.
You know the content is correct. It is still hard to press “send”. You fear a mistake, judgement or someone finding your work inadequate.
Perfectionism does not always mean tasks done exceptionally well. Sometimes it means tasks you never start. Since you are not sure you can do something very well, you put off trying.
High standards become a problem when they are hard to adapt to the situation. Every matter requires the same attention. A small mistake occupies you more than everything you accomplished.
How you judge yourself matters too. Does a setback tell you something about a particular task, or do you immediately see it as a reflection of your worth?
A good result does not always bring satisfaction either. You think the task was easy. Next time, you demand more.
Look at the costs. How much time do revisions take? Do they mean going to bed later, cancelling meetings or struggling to hand over some work to someone else?
Start with an ordinary task in which a small imperfection poses no safety risk. Before starting, establish what completing it means. For a short message: clear content, the necessary information and checked spelling.
When those conditions are met, notice the urge to make another revision. Are you correcting a specific error, or trying to be certain that no one will question anything?
You cannot achieve that certainty by reading again.
Working on perfectionism involves examining your beliefs and gradually changing behaviours. It is worth looking at what you fear after submitting work, refusing an extra task or accepting help.
If your demands on yourself continually take away sleep, time and the ability to rest, talk about it during a consultation. Constant tension does not have to be accepted as the price of work done well.
Hanna Swierczewska
Psychologist, psychotraumatologist, psycho-oncologist
If you would like to talk about your situation, you are welcome to book an online consultation.
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