Your first psychological consultation. Where do you start?
Sometimes deciding to book a meeting takes longer than the consultation itself. Questions arise: what should I say, where should I start, am I overreacting?
You do not need to come with a ready answer. If all you know is that things are difficult, we will start there.
What do we talk about at the first meeting?
I ask what prompted you to get in touch now. What is happening in your life, how long you have experienced difficulties and how they affect your daily functioning. I am also interested in what you expect from our conversation.
Sometimes it is about one particular situation. A separation, an illness or a family conflict. Sometimes it is hard to point to a single reason. You work, look after your home and fulfil your responsibilities, yet increasingly feel drained. You do not have to know what to call it.
I do not expect you to tell your whole life story in one meeting. Together, we establish what matters most now.
If there is something you do not want to talk about yet
Tell me. Not everything has to be addressed at the first consultation. This is especially true of experiences that are difficult to revisit. I do not need every detail to begin understanding your situation.
You have the right to ask why I am asking a particular question. You also have the right to say that you need a moment or are not ready to answer yet.
What if I cry or cannot find the words?
You do not have to apologise. Talking about yourself can be difficult, especially if you have focused on other people's needs for a long time. Silence or tears do not get in the way of a meeting. You do not have to stop them quickly or explain them.
How do you prepare for an online consultation?
Choose a place where you have privacy. Check your internet connection, camera and microphone. If you live with other people, let them know you need peace during the meeting. Headphones alone will not provide privacy if someone can hear your answers.
If you are worried you will forget something important, write down a few points. Notes are optional. You do not need to establish your own diagnosis beforehand either.
What do we agree on at the end?
The first consultation lasts 50 minutes. Towards the end, we discuss what we have understood and what next steps may be worth considering. Sometimes further meetings are needed to look more closely at the difficulties. Sometimes support from another specialist is advisable.
You also assess the conversation. Do you feel heard? Do you understand what I am proposing and why? If anything raises doubts, it is worth saying so.
You do not have to wait until the situation becomes unbearable. If you would like to talk about what is weighing on you, write to me at kontakt@hannaswierczewska.com.
Hanna Swierczewska | Psychologist, psychotraumatologist, psycho-oncologist
If you would like to talk about your situation, you are welcome to book an online consultation.
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